Tantalizing Tidbits » Featured, Introspective, Random Blog » Celibacy: Unhealthy??
Celibacy: Unhealthy??
A thousand times a day, every day, we are confronted with sex. Pictures of it, references to it, people talking about it, people doing it… well not only people, even the other animals are doing it. Sex is a very natural, commonplace thing. I’ve been thinking…we all know sex is a natural and healthy thing, so does that mean that the opposite – lack of sex – is an unnatural and unhealthy thing? I asked my doctor if being celibate is bad for you. She gave a typical, doctor-like answer, ‘that’s a good question. It’s possible. I don’t know.’ I looked online… there was nothing definitive either way. Still, the billion facts showing all the healthy endorphins, improvements to your skin, etc etc from having sex seems to point to adverse effects happening when you deprive yourself of it. There are plenty of people who are celibate – priests, nuns, and a number of other regular people as well. Maybe I could interview a long time nun? What do you think, readers? What is the longest you have gone without sex, and do you think it made you less healthy? Am I somehow killing myself? Not that I always do what’s healthy for me, but still… it seems kinda silly to have this be the thing that will cause me issues down the road, lol. On the other hand, being celibate is the ultimate laziness, and I am the king of laziness..
Written by merri
i am... an introvert, quiet, not shy, ditzy, short attention spanned, blunt, messy, a great friend, single... i like...house music, going out dancing, books, movies, tv, tea, lots of food, working out, writing... i dont fit into labels well, so think before you try to do it. don't treat me like a girl, treat me like a person. i'm merri.
Filed under: Featured, Introspective, Random Blog · Tags: celibacy, health, sex
11 Responses to "Celibacy: Unhealthy??"
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Hahaha! Too lazy to have sex? Have you no urges, woman?
I have gone longer than I will admit (even to myself) without sex (not by preference), and I have gained weight and messed-up my cholesterol levels. From this detailed scientific study I can state with conviction that you *must* have sex as often as possible.
Doctor's orders.
(I wonder if I can get a prescription for that.)
It's bad for you. Stop it right now. Know being lazy. It burns lots of calories. I know how much you like to burn calories.
I on the other hand am safe
Since I've been married, the longest I've gone without sex was the 6 weeks postpartum. But there have long periods where my 'mojo' disappeared – almost completely – but I still went through the motions with my huband because I knew intellectually that it was the right thing to do. And I would – once a week – like one of those 1950s housewives doing their wifely duty.
Definately not good for my health.
Now, we've gone through periods where my mojo was loud and proud – and maybe even if we still didn't do it more frequently than once a week – I did feel healthier. In lots of ways, and I might even argue many of those to be physiological. But to feel that, I needed the emotional connectedness as well as the physical act.
Hmm. TMI?
@mike ya i do..sometimes it hurts or drives me crazy…but when youre single, all you can do is hookups or fb and i really dont feel like either going to some bar/club/etc place i dont even like just to try and find someone that i can stomach to have sex with who would like me, or the dumb dating sites, which dont seem to work. finding someone to hook up with, then making time to go on the pre-sex date, when you are tired from work or would rather be resting or hanging with friends..eh. well my cholesterol is good at least
and i do have myself to play with lol.
@christopher actually i dont care about burning the calories. i work out cuz its fun, not really to burn calories. youre lucky and married u can have sex easily whenever u want. many many yrs ago when i practically lived with my then boyfriend, i made sure i got plenty lol.
@mrsfatass nothing is TMI here at tantalizing tidbits.
well, like i said, if im with someone, i prefer to have sex at least once a day, and i agree, sex with an emotional connection is def usually better. however, i really have no desire to stop being single. the only good thing about being in a couple is easy access to sex.
it seems like a lot of people have been telling me about their health problems after even short periods of celibacy. ive been celibate for quite a long time and only now am having random issues which may or may not have anything to do with this.. so hmm still the evidence isnt very clear…maybe masturbation mitigates the affects somewhat?
im still not sold on the benefits of finding a random hookup..or sure where i can find one at all even if i wanted to lol.
Oh dear. If celibacy is unhealthy then I better get busy. LOL. I'm Ms. organic raw vegan food person and I'm doing something unhealthy?!!
I've been avoiding relationships for years and am not into casual hook-ups anymore…I passed that stage years ago and besides it doesn't make me feel very good about myself after (Catholic upbringing guilt, maybe? LOL). It's been 4 years since I've had sex with a man and 14 months since I've been with a girl.
I honestly can't get myself to easily be that close to anyone anymore. When I was 24 I couldn't get away from all the men after me, and now that I'm nearly 35 no one seems to interest me and vice versa.
Interesting topic, Merri
What about the FWB option? I gotta' think you would have your pick of guys (well, straight ones anyway) if you were interested.
Masturbation helps with the crazy urges, but it sure ain't the same as the real thing.
@sarah great youre still alive. yes im around at the same stats as you.. well, a lil longer on the latter. but youre ok so.,,
@mike my best friend just wrote a blog on the feasability of having a fuck buddy and if its possible to do it without emotion http://tristanjaxx.blogspot.com/2010/01/what-now.html i said i think i could do it..but who knows. i wouldnt know where to find one…online dating sites arent working, and i def do NOT have my pick of guys anywhere, even in the middle of a straight club lol. in real life, im not that attractive to men or women. even if i werent so picky myself. ya, these things just come easier for some than others!
Really?!? I am surprised. Perhaps it's something in the water where you live.
I will look at your friend's blog when I am able. The arbitrary screening software my employer uses blocks that site from me during the day.
Merri, here's my $0.02.
If you are happy, then don't worry so much. If you feel you need to reach out and… touch someone… then do what it takes.
I find it exceedingly hard to believe you would have problems finding a fwb or F-buddy.
To answer your questions:
the longest I ever went without sex is right now, and it's been almost 6 months since my last activity. I miss it horribly, and also find SF to be somewhat isolating.
Yes, it makes me unhealthy – not physically, but emotionally and spiritually. I believe that sex is something that fills your spirit with vital ingredients, and that is makes you simply feel better as a person.
I think you are right that celibacy is the ultimate laziness. But that's not because I think you have to go out to bars or be super social to find sex… I think you have to be daring, and willing to accept a new experience, take risks, and try something which may be new, or adventurous.
THAT … is the spice of life, that is the cream on top, and that is what drives this crazy world.
For me, I am slightly paralized with doubt, hesitation, and fear of rejection. These are my limitations, and I often do things to stretch these boundaries. Or all boundaries.
An anectdote:
I was a vegetarian for 6 years. On my 30th Bday, my friend dared me to eat meat. It was foreign, made me feel weird, as meat felt like a slightly forbidden food to me.
As I ate the food, I realized how easy it was to allow myself to eat it. I realized, after dinner, that I had a sensation that I could smell things more, see things brighter – that in fact, NOT eating meat was bad for me.
Having sex is just like riding a bicycle. If you need lessons, hit me up, I'll even bring some training wheels